Neon Midnight – 4am Vampire Blues

So, in the age of digital downloads, I rather miss the proper lyric sheets of an Actual CD, and because I always like to know the lyrics to songs, I thought I’d better put the whole lot here for anyone who buys the album (or doesn’t!).

I chose to use the artist name ‘Neon Midnight’, rather than ofherbsandaltars, because the latter is really just accidental – it was a random username I plucked from the air without too much thought, and even though it stuck, it’s not really my name – it’s a quote taken from Poppy Z Brite’s Lost Souls. Whereas Neon Midnight is the name of Eden’s band, and since almost all these songs are his and Rob’s, it seemed fitting to put them out under that name…plus I’m rather fond of the little logo I sketched out for it too, so there’s that 😉 Though I’m no visual artist, so here it is on a t-shirt I made, you get the general idea! \/

Neon Midnight

Eden, Rob & co have their own blog, over at ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com , full of their facetious complaints letters, stoned 4am poetry, and general nonsense, while I delve through and write up their history, starting in 1847, which will hopefully be out there as novels, one day…eventually!

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Lyrics:

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1 – Without You

Eden’s song, the most recent one we wrote together. He’s written a million songs about this period of his life, but all of them ended up in the bin or in the fire, bar the occasional snippet of old lyrics that made their way into this. As for the exact specifics, certain people involved don’t like to talk about the whole thing, but if the novels ever make it into the world, Eden will have to suck it up and let me tell the whole shitty tale – I think there’s a lot of this that he hasn’t even told me yet…

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Rain keeps falling, the hills outside dissolve

Black clouds press against the walls of my prison cell

Without you, my home became a hell

I rest forever in a nest made of needles

This squalid room where time stands still

Trading pain for oblivion,

Bought with my soul and my free will

Inside this poisoned heart, all time stands still

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A hole inside the shape of you

Dammed with blood but rotting through

This is what I’m doing without you

You blessed me with eternal life

Then damned me with it too

And this is what I’m doing without you

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I feel my flesh eroding but my bones remain

Black flies circle in this sanctuary of shame

I burned through the plywood of hatred and blame

Now my mouth is made of ashes

And the dust of eternity

I taste it even in the depths of blood-induced serenity

Are these ashes made of you?

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I love you, I miss you, I hate you for leaving me

Lost in this eternity

Indestructible, don’t want to be

A thousand words burn in my fire

Too many words and not enough

Burning in the fire, words running in the rain

Nothing I say or do can take away this pain

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A hole inside the shape of you

Dammed with blood but rotting through

This is what I’m doing without you

You blessed me with eternal life

Then damned me with it too

And this is what I’m doing without you

This is what I’m doing without you…

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2 – The Forbidden Things

Eden’s accidental song. His longer, angrier poem came out in a big facetious, drunken rant here: https://ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com/2014/11/04/minty-blue-oblivion/ , but I thought it was so poignant I stole it and turned it into a song, which I suppose is really half mine now. My own take on the nostalgic forever-love of addiction is here: https://theputrescentvein.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-forbidden-things-dope-holiday/

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Is it such a terrible sin

To pledge my love to heroin?

To stumble through your church of lies

To tell a rude poem to the blushing bride

I think you’re jealous, I think you’re bitter

That my love is more than the cheap white glitter

Of wedding shoes and diamond rings

And none of these mean anything

Compared to a love that will always stay

That will never hate me and walk away

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Because these are the things that you loved

These are the trappings of you

These are the things you live on through –

Old bent spoons with gold staining

Soggy brown filters and a blunt syringe

On both sides of life and death it pierces through

Oblivion dwells between your heaven and this hell

Every hit reminds me of you

Every hit reminds me of you

.

No matter how far away

Or the years inbetween

When your soul’s been golden brown

On honeyed warm wings

You’ll always miss the forbidden things…

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3 – Bloodsong

Rob came up with the title first, and his Bloodsong was a raucous punk racket about eating people. Eden thought the title was pretty, so he wrote this.

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Tear the soft white skin

Puncture your bluest vein

As your blood stains my lips

I’m lost to it again

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Vampire eyes

Make beauty of bloodstains

High on you

No humanity remains

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Each pulsing one of you

Tears my souls with desire

Strength crumbles to ash

Kindness backfires

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Thirst hammers in my brain

Desperate thundering heart

Enveloped in your scent

All humanity departs

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Vampire eyes

Make beauty of bloodstains

High on you

No humanity remains…

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4 – Indestructible

Eden’s least favourite song, about a period of his history, during the 1920s, that he hates thinking about the most – I’ve only recently gotten the gory details out of him myself, and it doesn’t make for a palatable soundbite, so…enough said, for now.

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Never thought myself hateful

But all I see in her eyes

Is a bloodstained monster

And a century of lies

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Needle driven by echoes of hatred

I am indestructible, but still I try

Wish it hurt as I impaled my flesh

I am indestructible, I wish I could die

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How does love turn to loathing?

A word kindle such fire

How does love turn to loathing?

You loved me as a liar

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Gone forever and lost forever

In the depths of whiskey and morphine and blood

You were gone and so was I

I’m sorry you found me that night

I’m sorry for the grave in which you lie

And I’m sorry for the tears in your eyes

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Needle driven by echoes of hatred

I am indestructible, but still I try

Wish it hurt as I impaled my flesh

I am indestructible, I wish I could die

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Her eyes shut down like iron gates

A stake in my heart, never felt such hate

Floating, adrift – lost in blood

I am indestructible, but still I try

Peace in unconsciousness all that I want

I am indestructible, I wish I could die

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5 – Crumble To Ash

Eden finally gave me an explanation of this song the other day, and it’s here: https://ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/untitled-at-4am/

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Blood beats below warm skin

Gleaming eyes, smiling for me

In your arms I feel alone

In your arms I feel so old

.

Crumble to ash

Crumble to bone

A quiet coffin

A white gravestone

In your arms I feel alone

Jaded and ancient

Stained with human blood

I endure – I endure

.

Castles crumble to ruins

My victims rot beneath the mud

Alive but not human

You love me but I’m dead inside

.

How can I kiss you

When all I see is death

The trembling impermanence

Of every breath

The only way I can love you

Is to tear you apart

Suck the last drops of lifeblood

From your pulsing heart –

I can’t bear to look at you

When all I see is decay

How can I kiss you,

When all I feel is pain

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Crumble to ash

Crumble to bone

A quiet coffin

A white gravestone

In your arms I feel alone

Jaded and ancient

Stained with human blood

I endure – I endure…

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6 – Thanks for All the Blood (I’ll Never Forget You)

Written by Eden forever ago, and the very first song he ever gave me. I did add a few things of my own in the past couple of years, and it’s always been special to me – it’s the soundtrack to all these years of novel writing, and even Eden is quite proud of this one…though admittedly the way it’s supposed to sound is quite different to the mangled, stripped back rendition I’m capable of.

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Life begins at sundown

We come out to play at night

Not a part of your world

Shunned by the light

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Can you give me what I need?

Child in black

A brief blooming flower

Soon laid to waste

But I promise you, I promise you

I’ll never forget your taste

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Overwhelmed by memories

I cannot forget

Awash in dust of centuries

So much loss and death

.

But you have all I need

Child in black

Precious cocktail in your veins

Soon laid to waste

But I promise you, I promise you

I’ll never forget your taste

.

And when the darkness consumes you

I will still remain –

As cold and useless as the stars

So let the night come

*Let the night come

*WE ARE NOT AFRAID

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Alone in the darkness

Lost among the stars

The days that I was mortal

A long forgotten past

.

My loved ones rot in shallow graves

Yet still I remain

Regret and darkness are eternal

But salvation dwells in mortal veins

On and on through endless nights

Death’s undying slave…

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You have all I need

Child in black

A brief blooming flower

Soon laid to waste

But I promise you, I promise you

I’ll never forget your taste

.

A part of you lives on in me,

Spanning the lonely centuries…

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*lines taken from Poppy Z Brite/Billy Martin’s Lost Souls.

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7 – Hate You To Death

This song is all mine, and I can’t say too much about its meaning publicly, but I think it alludes to it quite well on its own – it sounds fairly childlike, but there’s a lot of dark shit under the surface. Accidentally it developed two layers – initially, wishing that hatred could literally kill a person, but then realising the awful, muddy complexity of human relationships, and wondering why sometimes, you honestly can’t hate a person through and through, even if they fucked you up forever. While there’s an enormous amount of anger in this song, the lyrics are so blunt I honestly struggled to record it without laughing on the first few takes!

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You exist like vomit

Like a hairball on the stairs

It’s my job, it’s my blood

To step in you everywhere

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Like poison like a cancer

You exist like vomit

I can never wash you off

I can never flush you down

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Why can’t I hate you to death?

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You don’t even remember

You don’t even know

What you did, what you did

It’s all I ever see

Sitting across the table from me

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Why can’t I hate you to death…

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8 – Gloomy Song

Re-recorded, since the Youtube version was a crap quality thing recorded on my phone! This song is also all mine, and was only written for my shitty, failed work experience placement with an offensively unfunny comedy troupe. They had a character who was a melodramatic, one-dimensional guitar-playing goth, so I figured I could do one better, and I wrote this song, aiming for a bit of a Nick Cave/Johnny Cash vibe…

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Pretty little girl

Red ribbons on your head

All I see behind your eyes

Is the skull of the dead

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The world was black

And the rain was black

And my soul was black as well

And all the love that burned in the world

Now burns in the fires of hell

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People like to be distracted

By a girlfriend or a pie

Every mouthful just disguising

The fact they’re going to die

Everyone that passes by

I can see them starting to die

Starting to rot, starting to stink –

These are the only things that I think

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This is not the gothest song in the world –

This is an obituary

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The world was black

And the rain was black

And my soul was black as well

And all the love that burned in the world

Now burns in the fires of hell

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9 Pussywhipped (Assfuck You)

A hybridisation of two angry songs about the same thing – my best friend for half my life, who allowed himself to be pussywhipped into dumping me over the whims of a series of jealous, possessive girlfriends – these songs were written years ago, and really allude to the first and craziest lady. This song, again, is mine, although as with all the finest insults, ‘I will assfuck you into an early grave’ is wholly Eden’s line, which first got put into a song when I very briefly joined a friend in creating a band called Bastard & The Fuckpigs – I was meant to be chief lyricist, so when I was sent over a demo track of distorted metal with samples of an icecream van, it made me think of a serial killing clown, and the lyrics came out deeply twisted, but eventually I warped most of it into my own psychopathic, exaggerated hate song!

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I want to feel your flesh from the inside

Try to find in there the part of you that died

Tie a bow in your intestinal mysteries

Commit pile-driver sodomy

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And I will assfuck you, into an early grave

Disembowel you, with a rusty blade

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People aren’t supposed to change

So I’m gonna wear your brain

Choke you with my shit

‘cause you’ve turned into the king of dicks

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And I will assfuck you, into an early grave

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Blinded, misguided and self-involved

People are cheap and so is your soul

In a world where the past means nothing

You deserve a righteous assfucking

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You used to put your friends in front

Now you sold us out for a bit of cunt

All these years mean nothing to you

Now I’m nothing but shit on her shoe –

PUSSYWHIPPED

You make me sick!

This whole fucking thing makes me sick

Gave your soul like a trinket to a bitch

And now you’re nothing more than her third tit

You make me sick

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You might as well be dead

You might as well be dead

I think I wish you were dead

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And I will assfuck you, into an early grave

Disembowel you, with a rusty blade

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I want to tear you open, delve inside your flesh

Bathe in your moans and the scent of your death

In a world where the past means nothing

You deserve a righteous assfucking

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//Unused, but actually more apt lyrics:

//If I want to see you

Since you got with her

Gotta go and ask your new owner

You let her rip your balls right off

I wish you’d tell her to fuck off

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So I gotta wonder –

What happened to your nuts?

Did she bite them off the first time you fucked?

Do you even have a dick, are you a pussy now or just so pussywhipped?

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Even if she makes you smile

You don’t have to obey

She says sit, so you sit and stay

Don’t see manipulation behind her eyes

She’s a prison camp in a girl disguise

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You make me sick//

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10 – Muff Disclaimer

This song is all Rob’s, and it shows! He wrote this song as his own perverse brand of a sweet little love song to Clara, because in his aforementioned Bloodsong he’d included the words ‘Blood on my shoes, blood in my girlfriend’s muff – all the seven pints in you is never quite enough!’ – but Clara protested that she shaves, actually, and she didn’t want him making the whole audience think she had a massive untamed bush. As such, Rob vowed to write her a ‘muff disclaimer’, and at every gig, he plays this first – a gentle, crooning introduction before launching into the raucous chaos of Rob’s Bloodsong. And you might not believe it, but this is the edited down version, with the worst crudeness removed – Rob is not known for his subtlety, and after having lived through centuries of hairy-bushed women, he had a fair amount to say on the subject!

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Clara is my perfect girl

She has such perfect tits

But this is a song about my other favourite bit

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My girlfriend has no beaver

My girlfriend has no muff

No nasty furry Chewbacca,

Not even any fluff

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This is a muff disclaimer –

Sign my beaver waiver!

No more pubes all sticky with lube –

Have no fear in the pubeless era;

This is a muff disclaimer!

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Seventies muff was furry and scary

A massive vag, huge and hairy

Please just shave it off

No more hairy –

Leave it under your pillow

For the pubic fairy

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Girl with no muff gonna be my wife

I’m gonna fuck her for the rest of my life

//I’ll shave mine too if you want me to

I’ll shave mine too if you want me to –

I’ll do anything in bed,

Except for eating poo//

Girl with no muff gonna be my wife

I’m gonna fuck her for the rest of my life

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This is a muff disclaimer –

Sign my beaver waiver!

No more pubes all sticky with lube –

Have no fear in the pubeless era;

This is a muff disclaimer!

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11 – Labour Party Tea Towel

This seemed a vastly random song to include, because it was a half-baked improvisational recording, and I do want to re-write it with lyrics that weren’t made up on the spot, but since I know some people liked it and would be disappointed if I left it out, I figured I’d better include it as a weird bonus track! I consider this pretty much a group effort, given Rob and Eden have plenty of their own things to say about David Cameron, and have already tried to murder him through the means of Eden’s sinister vengeance religion, Poo Voodoo… 

https://ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com/2014/10/12/poo-voodoo-in-action/

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My MP wants to meet me

She said so in an email –

The election’s coming up

So she’s getting in touch

With her constituents

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But I don’t want to meet you Margot James

I don’t want to meet you, Margot James

Because I think you’re a bitch!

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The Labour Party want to sell me tea-towels

They think I’m their biggest fucking fan

‘cause I told them once that I might vote for Labour

In the upcoming election

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…but it’s really not such a compliment,

When you think about it.

Do you wanna know what it really means?

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It just means that out of a bag of cunts,

Labour’s got less STDs

Labour’s got less dick-pus to dribble on me

And Labour don’t ooze shit like the fucking Tories

And I wanna see David Cameron rot in hell!

I wanna see that fat cunt rot in hell!

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(And I’m fucking up the speakers right now,

‘cause I’m singing too loud)

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But I don’t wanna buy a tea-towel

And I don’t wanna meet you, Margot James

I don’t wanna meet you Margot James

‘cause I think you’re a bitch!

.

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Thus endeth this extremely random lyric sheet! By definition, when writing for a host of characters, my songs are always pretty schizophrenic 😉 This album has been really fun to make, and I definitely intend to keep on kicking myself up the arse with writing new stuff and overhauling old stuff, and trying to get less shit at music generally, so, hopefully in about year’s time there’ll be something else, new and improved! 🙂

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