The Anne Summers Party

Bitches and hos

Wearing no clothes

Paisley carpet strewn with dildos

That’s what I wanted from this Anne Summer’s party

Instead I’m sitting here next to my auntie

While she talks about sex ‘n stuff, being too frank

Telling me her favourite place to have a big wank

She wanks on the chair I’m sitting here in

And that’s not particularly titillatin’

For me


There’s a floppy pink ‘rabbit in the flowery vase

And later on I know it’ll be up someone’s arse

I feel like I’m complicit in something quite foul

There’s a semen-looking stain on the bathroom towel

I don’t know when my aunt’s house became so sordid

My thoughts keep wandering to places quite morbid

Picturing these women and their horrible antics

Covered in Vaseline, wanking like a frantic

Sodomiser monkey with a twig up its arse

No amount of liquor will cleanse this farce,

These grisly images from my mind

I wish I’d stayed at home, I wish I was blind

I’m not even sure what’s sexy ‘bout this,

There’s no porn to distract, no dicks no tits,

Just an episode of X Factor on the TV

The terrible soundtrack to this monstrosity

This grim ruination of childhood memory

I think I’d like to go home

Simon Cowell and a big fake dick

I think I’d like to go home

And drown my shame alone


One Response to “The Anne Summers Party”

  1. MaDnEsS MiNeRvA Says:

    Quite the reunion >_>

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